


5 times Charlie wished he could kiss Alex (and one time he didn't have to)

by AeonWing



Series: Stolen Moments and Missing Links [1]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Awkward Flirting, Canon Compliant, Closeted Bisexual POV, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Introspection, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, cliffhanger ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25957015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonWing/pseuds/AeonWing
Summary: Charlie's got his eyes on Alex, though Alex is a little hesitant because Charlie used to be friends with Monty.Still, they overcome that and get closer. Bit by bit. Even as Alex starts seeing Winston.After all, endgame is endgame, right?Based on S3E13, Between S3-S4, S4E3, S4E4, S4E5, and S4E6
Relationships: Charlie St. George & Alex Standall, Charlie St. George/Alex Standall
Series: Stolen Moments and Missing Links [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891720
Comments: 73
Kudos: 149





	1. Monet's - S3E13

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my attempt at a 5+1
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it!  
> (Seriously, I know the only Chalex scene from S3 was Charlie gazing longingly at Alex when he was passing by, so I'm like, let's see what I can do with that) :P
> 
> I have quite a bit written for this already, so let's see where this takes us!

_"We meet the people we're supposed to meet when the time is right."_

_- **Alyson Noel**_

###  **November 23 rd, 2018**

If you asked Charlie St. George where his loyalties lied, he would probably be conflicted. Charlie’s always been a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, just trying to blend in, stay cool, and stay popular. It’s sometimes led him to bear witness to all sorts of questionable and sometimes downright awful things his friends have done. Every single time, Charlie would say something – but only in private. He’s always thought of himself as trying to be a good person at heart, to do the right thing – but sometimes not at the cost of his friends or his popularity.

It’s a flaw he carries. But after spending two years at Liberty High and witnessing all the messed-up things that were said and done, Charlie decided somewhere along the way that he’s had enough. He wants to be a good person – he really does. So when Charlie was forced to witness Bryce threatening Monty just minutes before their Homecoming game, just hours before Bryce would die – he decided that this would be the breaking point.

He had supported Monty, looked up to him, clamped down on his hurt and dislike whenever Monty spewed out his homophobic tirades – not knowing that Charlie himself was bisexual and very much into men – but Charlie drew the line at rape. He could tolerate the homophobia, chalking it up to toxic masculinity and jock culture – however much he disliked it and however much it bothered him. But this was one step too far. It made him physically ill.

So right after Tyler stood up at the assembly and came out as a survivor, Charlie made sure to cut ties with Monty – permanently. He reached out to Tyler, letting him know that he has a friend in Charlie, and went to the station with him to provide a detailed witness statement. It was a little awkward at first – no doubt, the two of them definitely still had preconceived notions of one another that wouldn’t just go away immediately – but Charlie nonetheless felt a weight lifted off his chest knowing he did the right thing.

But Tyler wasn’t the only one that Monty had hurt. During Bryce’s confrontation, Charlie overheard that Monty had tried to kill Clay and even threatened Alex by giving him a gun. Charlie and Clay had already made amends, with Clay gladly welcoming him into the inner circle. Still, Charlie had yet to find an opportunity to properly apologize and reach out to Alex. He can’t really blame Alex for it either – Alex found out from Zach that Charlie had said some less than positive things about him.

Yes – Monty was a bad influence, but Charlie knows that doesn’t excuse it. As far as Charlie knows, Alex’s impression of him remained “that jock who was Monty’s friend and said I shot myself in the head and missed.” It was a crass, shitty thing to say, and Charlie should have known better. He found himself regretting it the moment it came out of his mouth, doubling down when Zach reprimanded him for it (and rightfully so).

But now they’re all together, here, in Monet’s the day after Thanksgiving. It’s the first relaxing day they’ve had in a very long time, and Charlie feels relieved that Winter Break is coming up quickly. He and Tyler had agreed to hang out more often during December but suggested that Charlie reach out to Alex first before then. So when Alex walked past him, silently into one of the darker corners of the café, Charlie made sure to excuse himself from Zach and reach out to him.

“Hey,” Charlie says, putting on a slight smile when he and Alex are a reasonable distance from the main group.

“Hey,” Alex says back, a little slow and guarded.

“You okay?” Charlie asks, resisting the urge to reach out a comforting hand to the boy before him.

“Y…yeah, I just needed some time in my own thoughts,” Alex admits after a long pause, before forcing a smile and throwing his hands up slightly. “Everyone’s all happy, and I don’t wanna ruin the mood,” he admits, sniffling a little.

“I get that,” Charlie nods. “It takes time,” he adds, smiling gently.

“So uh, what about you?” Alex shoots back, an eyebrow arched.

“I uh, I just wanted to… you know, reach out to you,” Charlie murmurs, wide-eyed and solemn. “We’ve never been like, properly introduced.”

“Right,” Alex nods. “I’m Alex. Well – you already knew that. Just like how I know your name is Charlie,” he says, matter-of-factly.

_Awkward._

“Right, but like, we don’t really know each other all too well,” Charlie quickly adds. “N-Not that it’s a bad thing… or anything – I just… wanted to check up on you to see if you were okay.”

Alex is watching him with a guarded, suspicious gait, but only for a split second. Then it all vanishes, and his softer features return to the forefront. “Well, I’ve… been better,” Alex says after a pause, before sighing. “It’s just difficult to process that this nightmare’s all over,” he admits. “With Bryce and everything…”

“Yeah,” Charlie whispers, smiling tensely at the unwelcome reminder. “Yeah… I know,” he says reassuringly, before looking around. “I uh… I just wanted you to know...” he begins, nervous and slow. “I… I’m here for you if you need anything,” he finishes.

Alex is looking back at him with a confused look, but it bears no hostility. “Thanks, but… why?” He asks, perplexed and pointed. “I mean – you barely know me.”

“I uh, I just happen to think you’re an inspiring person and shouldn’t feel bad about reaching out,” Charlie reaffirms, not wanting Alex to feel bad. “After you know… everything you’ve gone through,” he adds, trying not to sound too forward.

“You mean with shooting myself in the head and missing?” Alex’s eyes narrow, voice coming out curter than expected.

Charlie’s a little taken aback by that because it’s as much an accusation as it is a fact. He regretted saying that the moment the words left his mouth.

“Zach told you about that, huh?” Charlie’s got his palms raised up defensively. “Yeah… I just… I just want you to know I’m sorry… I’m sorry for saying that about you,” he says, sincere and apologetic. “I didn’t even know you at the time… and I shouldn’t have said something like that,” he adds. “And so I’m really sorry, Alex. And I didn’t know Monty sent you a gun to intimidate you like that either,” he shakes his head, disgusted. “That’s such a shitty thing to do.”

Alex looks back at him with a touch of suspicion, but nonetheless relents and nods after a short while, exhaling hard. “Thanks, I guess,” he finally says, wiping his palms against his pants. “I mean… I accept your apology, Charlie,” he says, sincere and understanding. 

Charlie feels relieved. “Okay,” Charlie beams. “Cool,” he chuckles, a little awkward, letting his hands do most of the talking.

Charlie’s thinking of exiting the conversation here and now – he’s satisfied with how this first formal encounter went, even if it’s a little awkward, nonetheless. But Alex seems to have other ideas. “Hey, Charlie,” he starts, poking a head forward when Charlie turns to leave.

“Yeah?” Charlie asks back, turning his head to get a better view.

Alex looks solemn. And yet his eyes carry so much strength. “I just wanted to say to you – thank you for helping Tyler and going down to the station with him,” Alex says after a brief pause, smiling genuinely and nodding. “I know you and Monty were friends. And… I know you… _helped me out_ with what you did, too,” he concludes, and Charlie realizes with a slight jolt that Alex is talking about the bloody tape Charlie put in Monty’s locker.

It’s not something they’re keen to openly discuss here in a public space, especially after just being formally introduced to one another. But they understand. Both of them get it. He doesn’t need to say anything else, and although the silence between them is awkward at best, it’s at least not stifling.

Alex is nodding slowly, cloudy blue eyes holding him, and for the first time since this conversation started, Charlie’s at a loss of words. There’s still plenty of things he wants to say, plenty of things he wants to do, but he’s just not quite sure how to. But they still went from barely knowing each other to Charlie reaching out and apologizing to Alex for not being better, to Alex genuinely thanking him for helping him and Tyler out. Surely that’s a victory in and of itself. Finally, Charlie opens his mouth, ready to say something, but Alex beats him to it first.

“I uh… We should probably get back with the rest of our friends,” Alex says, shrugging and wide-eyed. “You know, before they get worried,” he adds. “But uh… maybe you should come hang out more often? You know, with Tyler and me over the break,” he says, smiling subtly.

It makes Charlie blush a little. And it makes his chest feel warm when Alex says ‘ _our friends.’_ It makes him really feel like part of the group now, and not just an outsider who got lumped in with a mess. And it meant Alex approved of him. “Okay, yeah,” he beams. “Sounds good,” he says back, trying not to sound too pointed.

When Alex starts walking, Charlie finally finds the words he wants to say. “Oh, and Alex?” He says, not realizing his heart rate has jumped.

“Yeah?” Alex asks, pausing in his footsteps.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Charlie says. “You know, with everything.”

And although Alex doesn’t say anything back to him, he does nod warmly with a slight smile. Charlie’s content with this first interaction.

He has a new future to look forward to.


	2. Winter Break - S3/S4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Charlie, and Tyler spend dinner together at Tyler's.
> 
> Alex and Charlie grow closer. Just a little bit.
> 
> Set between S3E13 and S4E1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 2/6.
> 
> I'll upload these once every 2 or 3 days.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

_"Better an oops than what if"_

\- **Unknown**

###  **December 21 st, 2018**

Now at this point, if you were to ask Charles Hayden Brixton St. George ‘who do you see yourself hanging out with?’, he’d probably describe one of his friends as a little socially awkward but kind-hearted no less with a passion and enviable talent for photography, and the other one as lacking self-confidence and self-deprecating, but conversely fiercely protective about those he loves. He’d also describe that one person in particular as charming, cute, and a ray of sunshine – though he’d never admit it.

The funniest thing though was that just a few months ago, Charlie would _never_ have said that. Not that he’s ever had anything against friends like these – it’s just that due to his passion and natural talent for football, his primary crew has always been well, football dudes. And for the longest time, Charlie saw no reason to compromise – being a popular football player meant having plenty of girls vying for your attention, and it also meant he was constantly surrounded by _very_ attractive men.

So, needless to say, Charlie’s found this new environment to be a little strange, but one that he’s markedly happy to be in. It’s a breath of fresh air, and he’s legitimately surprised how easy Alex and Tyler took him in – along with the rest of the crew involved with the murder investigation just a month ago. Everyone was remarkably kind-hearted, and it’s not like he has to choose – he’s still got Zach and Justin to talk to when his football passion gets the better of him (despite Alex and Tyler rolling their eyes at that).

But right now, it’s just the three of them again. It’s a few days before Christmas and a few weeks into their Winter break. Charlie’s been enjoying it – spending almost every night hanging out with Alex and Tyler, which keeps his mind off of things such as how messed up the whole investigation was just a month ago. But also because he legitimately and wholeheartedly enjoys their company and companionship. Tyler’s invited both of them over for dinner, and Charlie could never turn down an offer for a well-seared steak.

Tyler’s parents seem nice and accepting, though Charlie feels that they’ve been kept mostly in the dark when it comes to the drama at Liberty High. They know of the murder investigation, of course – everyone did – but Charlie can only feel that it must be a relief for at least some parents in Evergreen to maintain this image that the town and school were okay, that everything was mostly fine.

When the conversation steers over to Charlie’s experiences, he mentions that he’s going to be the new quarterback and captain with Justin and Zach stepping down, he notices Tyler’s parents trade concerned expressions – not out of hostility, but that of a guarded nature. “Yeah – it’s just… we know that some of the jocks had been… bullying Tyler at some point or another,” Tyler’s father says, solemn. “But I’m glad to see that there are some kind-hearted ones out there,” he smiles warmly.

Charlie’s stomach churns at that, because the first thing he thinks of is Monty. He’s dead – he was killed in his jail cell. Charlie admits that while he feels sorry, he doesn't feel guilty. Monty caused others tremendous pain while he was alive. So let the dead bury the dead. He’s still shouldering the burdens of being Monty’s former friend. And the legacy of his assault doesn’t just go away. He shoots Tyler a worried glance, one hand on his shoulder with a thoughtful expression.

“Thanks, Charlie,” Tyler nods, smiling a little. “I’m okay,” he whispers. “Thanks to you guys,” he adds, a little more emphatically. “Thanks to my friends, I’m happier now.”

Charlie feels a wave of relief wash over him. He knows it's not easy - and that it doesn't go away. But he's here. Alex is here. Surely that accounts for at least something. He's thought of suggesting to Tyler to seek professional help at some point - but he also recognizes that it's not his story, not his decision. He understands and respects that. So the least he can do is provide support, tell Tyler he's here if he needs anything.

“Alright,” Charlie says back, wide-eyed with encouragement and empathy. When he glances over at Alex, he sees the same approving grin reflected back at him.

Finally, the dishes get cleared off the table, and the boys make their way up to Tyler’s room, where they settle for watching a movie and listening to music. “Wow, we really do not how to have fun,” Alex jokes, to which Charlie shoots him a confused expression. “What do you mean? Movies are like, everyone’s favorite past-time.”

And Tyler just rolls his eyes when Alex says back to Charlie, “Not when your taste is sappy old romance movies. Seriously? You want to watch _The Titanic_?”

Charlie just shrugs at that with a goofy expression – but doesn’t deny it.

But when they do actually start watching it, Charlie’s found his eyes occasionally stealing glances at Alex, who is much more engrossed in the film than he would like to admit. It makes Charlie chuckle – it seems Alex has a soft side after all. It doesn’t help that Alex is low-key adorable, but Charlie does chalk up some of it to the sappy romance movie that is _The Titanic_ affecting his mood.

It’s not a bad movie, really though.

The movie ends (with Charlie almost crying, but he holds it in to save himself from embarrassment), and to his surprise, Alex is actually smiling – he enjoyed it (even if he won’t admit it to himself). When Tyler’s parents call him down to help with washing the dishes, Tyler excuses himself, leaving Charlie and Alex alone in Tyler’s bedroom.

“Come on, admit it— it wasn’t a bad movie,” Charlie’s the first to break the silence with a wide grin on his face. “Seriously, it’s a classic.”

Alex rolls his eyes and lets out a groan at that. “Charlie, I swear, you’re a year younger than me, but you act like you’re 60,” he jokes, eyes twinkling. Charlie grins when Alex doesn’t deny it, though.

The football player chuckles at that, lightly punching Alex in the arm. “I just happen to appreciate a good romance story,” he grins widely. “And I really relate to Jack,” he adds, quirking an eyebrow. “I just haven’t found my Rose, yet.”

Alex quirks an eyebrow at him. “Charlie, Jack was dirt poor, and you… like, look rich?”

“I’m not,” Charlie chuckles.

Alex doesn’t seem too convinced by that. “Yeah, well, look what happened in the end to both Jack and Rose,” he says, shaking his head cynically. “Man, if my life was a movie, it’d be the Titanic and how it sank,” he says.

Charlie raises an eyebrow at that. “You know the Titanic is based on real history, right?” He rebuts. “But come now, you’re amazing, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you,” he adds, trying to sound reassuring. At least Alex doesn’t seem too sad right now.

“Yeah, well – when I look at Rose and how she had two guys pining for her, I’m just like, wow – and here I am still wondering why Jess dumped me for Justin,” he mutters, and Charlie is briefly surprised by the touch of anger in his voice.

Charlie doesn’t quite know how to respond to that. He doesn’t know Jess or even Alex well enough to comment on that, so he just settles for resting a hand on Alex’s arm, and nodding warmly in support when Alex glances his way. “Shit, yeah… I’m sorry about that, Alex,” he says. “I’m uh… I’m sure you’ll find someone better,” he says, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Charlie’s not sure why he said that. It’s not like he’s really known Alex for that long, and here he is, telling Alex he’ll find someone better, while secretly also thinking of hugging him and telling him that he’s a good-looking lad who deserves better. It’s a massive cliché, and it’s the shit everyone says when their friend’s sad about love. Not that it would probably do any good, and Alex would probably just look at him with a creeped-out expression anyways – so Charlie just settles for nodding slowly and reassuringly, warmly rubbing Alex’s arm in true bro fashion.

“Sure, maybe if they’d go for skinny, sad guys like me,” Alex laughs dryly.

“Well, I think you’re quite handsome,” Charlie says without thinking. When Alex turns to look at him with narrowed eyes, Charlie throws up two hands defensively. “I-I mean like you’re good looking. You know, without being like, gay or anything,” he says, laughing nervously.

Alex rolls his eyes at that. “Yeah, yeah, I know, don’t worry, Charlie,” he says. “Besides, I know you’re straight, anyways.”

_Um. No._

Charlie’s jaw drops at that _very incorrect_ assumption. "Oh, uh, actually-" he begins, nervously scratching his head. But then he pauses - deliberating. It's not something he's openly discussed with anyone. Not his father, not the football team, and certainly not Alex, whom he's really just met. And while he's confident Alex won't judge him for it, won't judge him for his sexual orientation, it's still not something he's keen on openly speaking about.

So he just settles for pressing his lips in a hard line, and nodding. 

“I mean, weren’t you dating that one girl,” Alex asks, eyes narrowing. “I think her name was… Betty? Was it?” he finishes.

Charlie laughs nervously at that, running a hand through his hair absent-mindedly at the reminder. “Yeah, uh… Betty and I broke up,” he admits, nodding with his eyes closed. “She kind of dumped me after that brawl at Homecoming,” he says reluctantly. “Apparently she thought that ‘boys were better than that’ or something – which was like, whatever,” he shrugs.

Alex looks back at him incredulously. “Well, fuck that, you deserve better. She missed out on a lot then,” he says, scoffing. When his eyes meet Charlie’s, though, he shrinks back, muttering a garbled apology. “Shit – sorry – I mean, I don’t really know her, but like…”

“No, Alex, it’s fine,” Charlie smiles at him. “You’re right,” he nods. And that’s when Charlie realizes how much he admires Alex. They’ve only formally known each other for a little over a month, even if they’ve been hanging out on the regular. But if there’s one thing he’s amazed by, it’s how passionate Alex is about what he cares for. While Charlie was hesitant to speak up, Alex has no issue jumping in and calling out Betty without even really knowing her.

Maybe it’s a bad thing. But at least it’s something Charlie admires. He feels at ease when he’s like this with Alex, alone, and just talking about everything.

“So uh,” Charlie begins, heart suddenly in his throat. “Would you know, want to hang out more?” He suggests, trying to suppress the growing anxiousness at asking that. “Maybe tomorrow?”

Alex looks like he’s about to say something – something that Charlie thinks is a big _yes_. His jaw is dropped, eyes twinkling. And then—

“Sorry about that, guys!”

Charlie doesn’t know whether to be thrilled or not when Tyler comes strolling back into the bedroom, smelling of detergent. “Oh, uh yeah, sure,” Alex agrees, before glancing up at Tyler. “Hey, Ty – Charlie wants to hang out tomorrow again, are you free?”

_Damn it._

“Oh, I uh—” Charlie begins, laughing nervously, but Tyler’s already talking over him.

“Sure, why not,” Tyler agrees. “Monet’s again?” he asks, glancing around.

And Charlie lets out a small sigh. He’d been hoping it could’ve just been him and Alex. Not that he doesn’t like Tyler, of course, but it would have been nice to get to know Alex a little more one on one. But when he looks around Tyler’s bedroom, sees Alex and Tyler grinning and laughing happily, at least he knows he has good friends to lean on.

He’s not too sad about that.

“Oh well, maybe another time,” he whispers to himself but smiles contently no less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, please consider leaving kudos/reviews. I thrive on them and it keeps me motivated to produce more content!


	3. Valentine's Dance - S4E3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie's really afraid of Jess, but goes to the dance with her anyways.
> 
> He runs into someone there that he wasn't expecting. Though, he's not sure if it ends up being a good thing after what he witnesses with said boy and a certain other boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Part 3 guys!
> 
> Honestly - this one's my favorite of all 6, imo. I've been seriously restraining myself in terms of how I paint their interactions. I do like to see how there's progression from each chapter, though!

_"Trust me, you can dance."_

**\- Vodka**

###  **February 15 th, 2019**

Charlie was terrified of Jessica. How could he not be? First, she tore into him when he first started working at the Crestmont, belittling him for every little thing, and when Charlie tried to defend himself, she told him he was just another ‘asshole jock’ anyways. Then Charlie had to sit there and witness Jess campaign to completely defund boys’ sports. They were on student council together but seldom saw eye to eye, and Charlie was sure at some point she was just going to try to get him off the council.

Needless to say, when Jess coerced him to go the Valentine’s Dance together, Charlie was too afraid to say no. He hated it – how she put him on the spot right in front of Justin. Though Justin seemed fine with it, encouraging him to go even, grinning widely with a tap on his shoulder and a playful ‘good luck, man,’ Charlie still didn’t feel at ease with this.

Still, he’s kind of looking forward to dancing – even if it’s just as friends with Jess. Jessica’s very attractive– Charlie can admit this even if he’s scared shitless by her beyond all belief. He remembers last year when the football team first found out that Justin was seeing Jessica, and Charlie was the first to pat him on the back. ( _‘Bro, I just wanna let you know, you’re my fucking hero. Jessica Davis is scary as shit, but…. Fuck she’s so hot.’)_

Justin just stared back at him incredulously – but they’ve reached some mutual agreement. Charlie promised Justin he’d try to look after Jess at the dance, and that there were no hard feelings between them while his teammate was at his sobriety meeting for the night.

So although it’s really awkward walking into the building with Jess through that glowing heart with all the little lights (because they’re literally the only ‘couple’ that aren’t holding hands), Charlie musters his courage to ask Jess anyways.

“Do you… wanna dance?” he asks, grinning widely.

Jessica seems preoccupied with checking out the venue. She turns to answer his question, looks at his physique, furrowing her brows and scoffing. “No.”

And Charlie likes to believe he’s a tough guy. He’s the attractive quarterback on the football team, he’s had plenty of experiences with girls – but Jessica’s blatant and instant rejection hurts, nonetheless. “Oh,” he says back, disappointed.

Jess doesn’t seem to care.

Part of Charlie already knew that Jess only asked him (coerced him, really) to go to the dance because she wanted to make Justin jealous and because she felt that as president of the student council that it was her right to have a date here. He knows all this – but it still makes him feel like shit regardless.

“Can you get me some punch?” She suddenly asks, a hand on her hip. Her tone is dry and derisive.

That sounds alcoholic. “Is that… Do they even have punch?” Charlie inquires, quirking an eyebrow at the suggestion. “Is that… like, still a thing?”

And when Jess groans in frustration, Charlie immediately says, “I will go, and I will find out,” he quickly mentions, suddenly terrified of offending her. 

And when Charlie returns, with various cans of diet coke in hand albeit no punch, he’s not even surprised that Jess already has her hands around Diego. He frowns at that, but steps back, nonetheless, scowling when Diego salutes him and starts moving to the beat of the song with Jessica’s arms around his neck.

Charlie just shrugs, whispering to himself that it wasn’t going to happen anyway. He returns to the drink section for more coke, and that’s where he runs into Alex. And Charlie would be lying to himself if he said over the past few months that he hasn’t developed some semblance of attraction towards this troubled but very adorable boy.

There was something about his hair, his beautiful blue eyes, and just the way he carried himself in conversations that made Charlie drawn to him. Whenever they hang out, whether it’s only the two of them, or if Tyler’s there, Charlie’s at ease.

Grinning a little to himself, he takes this opportunity to strike up another conversation.

“Hey!” he beams. “Didn’t expect to see you here,” he says, intending to sound like a light-hearted joke.

Alex looks back at him suspiciously. “Why, because you’re surprised that I’d have a date?” he shoots back, raising an eyebrow back at him. “Just like how Jess was surprised?”

_Shit._

Charlie didn’t mean to offend Alex. In fact, that’s probably the last thing he wanted to do. “N-no, no, no,” Charlie stammers back, raising both hands defensively. “I just thought, you know – you said you hated dancing,” he quickly points out.

Alex shuffles his feet at that, but his expression softens a little, nonetheless. “I _do_ hate dancing,” he agrees, chuckling as he takes another sip of his coke. “But I thought I’d uh, come anyway,” he nods.

His grin makes Charlie blush a little, and Charlie would be lying if Alex grinning widely in semi-formal attire wasn’t a sight for sore eyes. He _is_ undeniably handsome. “So uh,” he begins, heart in his throat. “Do… do you have a date tonight?” he finally musters the courage to ask. It’s not a weird question. It shouldn’t be at least. So why is Charlie suddenly so nervous?

Alex laughs awkwardly back at him, running a hand through his soft, brown locks. After a brief pause, he finally answers – or, more correctly, deflects it. “Are you like, trying to ask me out?” he quips, and Charlie would feel nervous as shit about this if it weren’t for the fact that Alex is playing it cool too. He doesn’t even notice that Alex completely sidestepped the question. 

“Uh,” Charlie begins, awkward. “No. No! I uh… I came with uh Jessica,” he says, too quickly but thankful he was able to think of something to say.

Alex rolls his eyes at that and cocks his head to the left where Jess and Diego are now dancing suggestively to the beat of a song Charlie doesn’t quite recognize. “Well, clearly she’s now with someone else,” he chides, but puts a hand on Charlie’s shoulder anyway, causing Charlie’s heart to skip a beat. “Don’t… don’t worry about that,” Alex says reassuringly. “You know she just… wants to get back at Justin, right?” Alex quirks an eyebrow.

Charlie nods at that, twisting his mouth into a frown. He knows this – but it doesn’t exactly help his bruised ego or the fact that he’s still scared of her.

Alex senses his unease and takes a few steps forward. “Charlie, just between you and me – I don’t think what she did was cool— at all, okay?” He says sympathetically, a hand on his shoulder. It makes him feel a little warm. “And I don’t agree with what she’s doing to Justin here.”

Charlie slowly lets out a sigh, but undeniably feels better after that. Alex grins at him but retreats his hand from Charlie’s shoulder – something that Charlie wished he could protest against.

“Besides, you’re like, really handsome and sweet,” Alex adds, suddenly. “You’ll find someone,” he winks.

Charlie stares back at him perplexedly. “Are you, like… flirting with me?” He winks back, meaning for it to be a joke.

Alex rolls his eyes at that - but he doesn’t deny it. And in the next moments that pass, Charlie would have noticed Alex suddenly glancing over his shoulder, looking at some mystery person behind both of them. But he’s too engrossed in his thoughts. Was Alex flirting with him? Was Alex serious about what he said? Does Alex even have a date?

It’s all cut short when Alex mutters a quick “Sorry, I’m going to have to go,” with a nod and quickly leaves the table.

Charlie’s a little confused by this, so he keeps his eyes glued on Alex as he makes his way through the thicket of people and the fray of music. When it’s clear that Alex isn’t stopping anywhere, curious footsteps draw Charlie closer and closer, albeit always making sure he can’t be seen. He feels kind of stalker-ish right now, but he clamps down on it and chalks it up just to curiosity.

Needless to say, Charlie doesn’t know whether to be surprised or disappointed when he sees who Alex finally meets. His jaw drops when Alex’s expression softens when his eyes meet the dark-haired boy in front of him.

Charlie doesn’t know that boy’s name. He knows he transferred from Hillcrest, likes photography, and has a fantastic fashion sense. But what he didn’t know, at least prior to just now, is that he and Alex knew each other. Scratch that – they clearly more than just know each other.

Charlie winces when he sees Alex reach out a hand, and the other dark-haired boy grins back at him romantically, holding both of Alex’s hands with his own. And while most people may have missed it, chalked it up to just two close male friends, Charlie knew that this isn’t anything of that sort.

This is more than that.

If Charlie has learned anything from being a closeted bisexual, it’s that this interaction, whatever it is – is more than ‘just friends.’ 

Charlie lets out a sigh, watching with solemn eyes as Alex gets taken away into one of the dark hallways of the school. He thinks of following, considers it once, twice, even more perhaps – so that he can confirm his suspicions. But he doesn’t – he doesn’t want to get caught, intrude on them, or worse, make Alex uncomfortable.

Disappointment fills him, and there’s a part of him that doesn’t quite understand why either. Alex is attractive – yes, but Charlie was getting ready to concede that it would always stay like that – a little crush on a straight male friend. But seeing this – seeing Alex and _that boy_ so intimate reignites that crush. And at the same time, hits hard and worse.

So instead, Charlie just settles for shrugging, clamping down on his admittedly hurtful disappointment with a pained expression. Well, at least the rest of the football guys (sans Diego) don’t have a date. He can always go hang out with them.

If it makes him feel any better.

“Well, at least you do have a date,” Charlie murmurs, his chest slightly aching. “Happy for you, I guess.”

It feels like a lie, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, consider leaving a review! Last chapter was a little slow with that - I hope that wasn't because people disliked it *Sweats* 
> 
> Thank you again!


	4. Senior Camping Trip - S4E4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is heartbroken over Winston's deception on the Senior Camping Trip, though he tries to hide it, until he can't anymore.
> 
> Charlie's there for him though, but how much longer can he keep up this pretense of loving Alex only like a friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 4 guys. I took a lot of creative liberties here - and I think I like the end result.
> 
> The restraint in writing their interactions is coming to a breaking point EEP

_"I may not always be there with you, but I will always be there for you"_

\- **Unknown**

###  **March 2 nd, 2019**

_“I know… you’re a good person… and I’m sorry if you feel like shit… or whatever… that’s all I know.”_

_. . ._

_. ._

_._

_“I wish I could say that I was a good person, Charlie. But I’m not. I’m really not.”_

Charlie wakes up with a start. It’s the middle of the night, and his arms feel strangely heavy and slow. He realizes with a slight jolt that those blasted cookies he’d been handing out (and eating) contained weed. He brought the wrong batch of them to the trip, and if any of the chaperones found out, he’d be in so much shit. But hey, at least they’re good for _something_.

But that’s not the first thing on his mind right now. He was dreaming that Alex was crying.

Charlie and Alex’s friendship has changed over the months. They went from barely talking, to good friends, to Charlie developing what he felt like was a one-sided crush, and now they’re bunking in the same tent because Alex had broken up with Winston. When Charlie found out that Alex had brought Winston to the Valentine’s Dance, a part of him felt disappointed and jealous. Somewhere, somehow during these past few months, he developed feelings for Alex, and he felt like he’d never be able to come clean about it.

Yet, in an almost cruel twist of fate, Zach had disclosed in front of everyone something Ani and Clay kept secret for months – that Winston could alibi for Monty the night of Bryce’s murder. And that Alex was dumping Winston for that reason.

Charlie’s eyes are still closed, but he runs a hand through his disheveled hair, exhaling and trying not to hear Zach’s snores from beside him. He knew Alex was hurt and heartbroken by what Winston was hiding. It wasn’t fair to him, and Alex must have felt so blindsided. Charlie tried his best to comfort Alex, offering a few words of kindness to him, and although Alex seemed to feel a little better after Charlie handed him his cookies, Charlie could see that Alex was still on the verge of crying.

There was so much he wanted to say at that moment. But when he tried to, nothing came out. He was at a loss of words like every damn time he wanted to talk to Alex about something more profound than the weather or schoolwork. So instead, he just settled for handing out those granola camp cookies. It cheered Alex up, at least temporarily. Surely that’s a win, right?

Sighing, Charlie finally rolls around, half-expecting to find Alex bundled up in his sleeping bag – but to his surprise, Alex is missing. Charlie quirks an eyebrow at this, but he chalks it up to Alex probably needing to use the washroom in the middle of the night. It reminds Charlie that he too needs to pee pretty badly right now.

Groaning, Charlie gets up from his sleeping bag, taking care not to wake his former co-captain who’s snoring away, likely knocked out from the copious amounts of alcohol he’d been consuming all night long. He makes his way away from the group of tents towards the portable washrooms, which almost looks eerie as the only dimly lit thing amidst the darkness.

Suddenly, Charlie hears a rustle in the woods. It startles him a little. “Who’s there?”

He turns to face where the sound came from, and then a mix of relief and anxiousness washes over him when he sees it’s Alex who comes skulking out of the darkness.

“Alex?” Charlie looks around, checking for anyone else. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Alex keeps his voice low. It’s too dark to make out all of Alex’s features, but Charlie can see that he’s shivering. And not because it’s cold. “I just… I needed some space, alone,” he admits, voice wavering just a tiny bit.

The emotion in Alex’s voice catches Charlie off guard, and for a split-second, he loses his train of thought.

“…Oh,” Charlie answers after a short pause. He leans in a little closer, and the subtle smell of alcohol from Alex’s lips becomes that much more apparent. “Have you… have you been drinking?” Charlie asks worriedly.

Alex lets out a nervous sigh, but nods. “Yeah… I just… I kind of stole a bit of Zach’s liquor,” he admits, a pleading look on his face. “Please don’t tell him, okay? And please don’t tell my dad. I don’t want them to worry more about me.”

“I won’t,” Charlie promises. “But… why?”

Alex lets out a weighty breath, but nonetheless steps a little closer so that he can get a closer view of Charlie. It makes Charlie shiver a little, being this close to Alex in such a vulnerable moment.

“I just… I needed to clear my head,” he whispers. “Today’s been hell for me.”

“Is it about Winston?” Charlie inquires but bites down on his lip to prevent saying anything else. It’s not his place to – he knows that. He wants to comfort and help Alex here, but it’s Alex’s story to tell. And so despite everything he wants to say, he holds back.

And finally, after what feels like an eternity, Alex nods, wordless and silent.

And Charlie’s heart cracks when he realizes that Alex is trying not to cry again, a quiet whimper leaving his lips. There are a million things that fill Charlie’s mind right now, a million phrases at the tip of his tongue, and none of them seem like the right choice. Charlie settles instead for awkwardly draping an arm around Alex’s trembling shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Alex,” Charlie whispers. “I wish I could… make it better somehow,” he continues, doing his best to be gentle and reassuring.

But what Alex says next catches even Charlie off guard.

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” Alex admits. “I don’t… I don’t understand. When I fell overboard today, I swear, I could see Bryce. Reaching for me, trying to drag me down,” he admits, shaking. “I’ve never felt more scared and guilty in my life.”

Charlie knows that’s not possible. It has to be a hallucination, an imagination – or if he’s feeling coy, something about the legend of the Burnham Woods. But it’s not that, and Alex isn’t crazy, dissociating, or anything. He’s just a teenage boy going through trauma – more trauma than anyone should have to deal with in a lifetime’s worth of experiences. Charlie knows this, and while he hasn’t experienced it, he understands. 

“I’m not crazy, Charlie, I swear to you,” Alex bites his lip, trying to stand firm. “But… when I found out Winston could alibi Monty… It brought me back to that night. It was all I could think about. All the blood I have on my hands. How do I live with that?” Alex lets out, his voice trembling, his entire body shaking at the thought. “Sometimes, I wish I could just admit it and get it over with. Save my friends from the blood on my hands.”

And although Alex doesn’t finish that sentence, he doesn’t elaborate, Charlie knows what he’s talking about. Homecoming. November 2nd, 2018 – the night Bryce Walker was killed. And although Charlie wasn’t part of it, he empathizes.

“I know,” Charlie says back, softly. “I know. I know,” he continues, a little stilted and awkward. “I uh… I’m here, you know. I mean… you can count on me. If you uh… if you ever need anything, okay? I’m right here,” he finishes, awkwardly but confident. “All of us are.”

For some reason, Alex looks even sadder than he did before, and Charlie’s breath catches when he sees that. It’s frustrating to think that there might not be anything he can do to ease the pain of this charming boy who’s been through so much or to soothe the aches and worries of someone Charlie has very much caught feelings for.

So he tries again, a little more forceful. “Alex…” he says, heavy blues holding Alex’s. “Alex, I wish I could say I understand what you’re feeling,” Charlie admits, his own eyes watery with emotion and weight. “But all of your friends… _myself included_ ,” he bites his lip, a brief flash of regret when he realizes that that might be all they ever are, “We did what we did because we care for you,” he says, trying his best to stay strong for Alex.

And while he doesn’t elaborate – he’s confident Alex understands. “So don’t punish yourself like this,” he continues, slow and steady, biting down on his lip when he wants to say more, that he’s here for Alex, that seeing him like this hurts him too. But he doesn’t. He’s so afraid of overstepping his boundaries. So he settles for this. “Okay?”

And although Alex doesn’t answer him back, he does nod in agreement, slowly. Wordless and silent, but not unheard. Almost instinctively, Charlie’s fingers stroke Alex’s arm, trying to warm him up, comfort him amidst the stifling silence. Alex notices it, but when Charlie stops doing it, Alex buries his face into Charlie’s sweater.

It surprises Charlie – how could it not? Alex has never been one to show much emotion besides the occasional outburst of anger, so seeing this, _feeling_ this is a warm welcome. Alex so rarely lets his guard down like this in front of Charlie, it makes this moment that much more special, holding Alex tightly and just trying to comfort him and calm him down to get through an awful night of awful revelations.

It makes Charlie’s chest tighten, his heartbeat speed – the boy he likes holding onto him tightly like this. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, when Alex calms down, and the tears dry up, he breaks away from Charlie, puts both hands in his pocket, and awkwardly shifts around when Charlie looks him in the eyes.

“Oh, shit—” Alex stammers, wide-eyed when he sees the slight tear stains on Charlie’s sweater. “Sorry… I uh, I might have ruined your sweater a little,” he says sheepishly.

But Charlie’s hardly concerned about that. “No worries, Alex… I’m just glad you’re okay… or at least, you _will_ be okay.”

They lock eyes again, and for a split-second, Charlie swears he sees Alex returning the same longing, wistful gaze. And then it disappears when Alex opens his mouth again.

“Thank you, Charlie,” Alex finally smiles after a long pause. “I uh, I guess I feel a bit better now,” he admits, a bit of hope returning to his features. They stay like that for a few moments – feeling like an eternity, and then Alex finally says to him in a low voice, “We … we should probably get back to our tent,” he says, matter-of-factly.

Charlie nods at that but tells Alex he’ll catch up with him later – he still needs to use the restroom.

Alex shrugs but nonetheless pulls Charlie in again for a warm, long embrace. And although it’s dark, it’s the middle of the night with no streetlights, the warmth of Alex’s embrace and touch could have been a blinding light, a dazzling ray of sunshine. Charlie feels so at ease like this, with Alex hugging him. It’s soft, it’s comforting, and for a moment, it almost makes him lose all his inhibition then and there.

Like every time before this, plagued with silence. Charlie wants to say something, anything to express how he’s feeling. But try as he might, the words don’t come out like he’s lost all his fluency and ability to express himself.

So he settles instead for keeping Alex close, listening for the hitch in his breath, the little sob caught in the back of the older boy’s throat, and the beat of his heart pressed up against Charlie’s chest.

And even when Alex pulls away, it’s like the sun sets with him all over again. Charlie’s breathing hard – harder than he’s expecting. And it’s at this point that Charlie realizes that he’s fallen for Alex. He’s fallen hard for him. And try as he might, he’s not sure how much longer he can keep this platonic gesture between the two of them.

How much longer he can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! Just 2 more parts to go.
> 
> Please consider leaving a review - I love those.


	5. Find-Your-Drink Party - S4E5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Find-Your-Drink party, our boys are stoned - but what happens after the movie ends? Do they have anything else to say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the homestretch guys!
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter - it's sorta frustrating, though :P

_"Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called_ falling in love _, because you don't force yourself to fall you just fall."_

\- **Unknown**

###  **March 22 nd, 2019**

_“I mean… it’s not fine… but it’s fine that it’s not fine… if that makes sense?”_

_“Well, I wish I could be fine with not being fine…”_

_. . ._

_. ._

_._

_“You will be. Someday.”_

That was some 30 minutes ago, if Charlie’s memory serves correctly. It’s kind of hard to tell – the weed’s coursing through his system along with the few shots of vodka he had prior to finding Alex. It feels good, honestly, being high like this, sitting with Alex, watching some sappy old Christmas movie.

Speaking of Alex, at this juncture, if you were to ask Charlie, “who do you have your eyes on?”, he’d be able to answer that question in a heartbeat. Like most other surprises, Alex waltzed into Charlie’s life like some fever dream. It’s almost surreal to think that just half a year ago, they barely knew one another, and of all the messed-up ways to meet – a _murder investigation_? That’s one for the history books.

Charlie doesn’t believe in fate. Not by a long shot. He’s a firm believer that he is in control of his own destiny, his own future, and everything that happens. He recognizes that this is a privilege in and of itself – that he’s been allowed to be put in positions where results are directly influenced by his actions. That’s not something everyone can say.

He knows this – and yet he’s finding himself failing to apply this philosophy to dating – or more pointedly, to Alex. They met at Monet’s, bonded over the break with Tyler, then tapered off when Alex started seeing Winston. And then just after they broke up, Alex shared a moment of vulnerability, of openness – something that caught even Charlie off guard.

And somehow, somewhere, Charlie had fallen for him.

But it’s not an easy path upwards from here. There’s no cure all magical wand like you see in fairy tales, or some fairy godmother to grant you your wishes. It’s going to be an uphill battle. First, Charlie hasn’t admitted his sexual orientation to anyone yet. He’s kept his bisexuality a secret since he’s first realized he was bi – and yet, he knows he’s done a terrible job at it. He hears the whispers in the locker room, the banter his teammates share with him.

Most notability Diego and Luke – they’re his boys, his teammates – and they’re also the ones who tease him the most. Charlie hasn’t confirmed it outright, but it’s foolish to think they don’t already know by now. But that still doesn’t make things any easier. Charlie knows that Alex isn’t straight. Dating Winston like that sort of blindsided him, but in a twisted way, also gave him hope that they could have a future, or at least that Charlie could have a chance. But he hasn’t brought this up with Alex. And one might call him foolhardy, cowardly, but truth be told, Charlie’s _terrified_.

He and Alex have forged such a strong friendship, a deep bond, that Charlie’s afraid of screwing it all up. He’s afraid that if he admits his sexual orientation like this, that if he doesn’t choose the right time, that he’ll risk losing everything he has already. And while what they have now isn’t romantic, it’s still important to him. _Alex_ is important to him. Maybe so important that losing him altogether would be worse than never having him as a lover. 

He’s been trying to find a good opportunity, and it just so happens that one presents itself. Beecher’s ‘Find-Your-Drink Party’. A pre-college rally where you well, _find your drink_ – or pick your poison, or whatever you want to call it – either way, this is his chance.

After a mostly silent time together watching a rather out-of-place Christmas movie, the credits start to roll. Truth be told, Charlie was hardly processing what happened on screen. He was watching it, yes – but his thoughts were somewhere else the whole time. He steals a glance to his left, trying to gauge Alex’s response, his reaction to the film ending.

Something, anything to reignite the spark of a conversation. And fortunately for Charlie, he doesn’t have to look far.

“I actually quite liked it,” Alex suddenly states, his deep blue eyes resting on Charlie's own with a warm grin. “Did you? I mean I know… you didn’t choose it,” he adds meekly.

It makes Charlie smile. It seems Alex does have a soft spot even when it comes to sappy old movies. “To be honest… I don’t really remember half of what was happening,” he admits sheepishly.

Alex shoots him a perplexed look. “What? Then what were you thinking of?” He asks, quite pointedly. It causes the familiar heat to enter Charlie’s cheeks, with Alex staring at him, his pretty blue eyes still hazy from the weed.

And again, Charlie’s finding himself at a loss of words. It’s like middle school all over again, trying to talk to his crush, his _very pretty_ crush who’s just staring back at him. Things are normally so easy with girls – and yet Charlie finds it so frustrating that Alex, this one boy, this one boy he’s had feelings for since God knows how long, is asking him what he’s thinking of.

“Uh,” Charlie says with a start, chuckling awkwardly when Alex presses him with the same dubious expression. “Just… like, life stuff? I guess?”

Alex stares blankly at him for a moment, then bursts out in laughter.

“Now it’s my turn to be confused,” Charlie comments, furrowing his brows. “Is my life that funny?” He asks, meaning for it to be a joke.

That gets Alex to stop laughing. “N-n-no,” he says back. “I just… it’s so strange to hear you say that… you know. You always seem so put-together,” Alex admits, and Charlie can swear there’s the briefest flash of longingness in Alex’s expression.

And then it all fades.

“Thanks…? I guess?” Charlie says back gawkily. “I mean… I try to be, at least.”

“You do,” Alex says again, a little stronger this time. “It’s something I haven’t seen in a long time,” he continues, his blue eyes sparkling with confidence. “I need someone…" he pauses, mouth agape, jaw slightly dropped. Charlie's heart skips a beat, and then Alex clears his throat. "I mean, _something_ like that in my life.”

Something about that admission makes Charlie’s heart race. There’s no way Alex actually said that, right? Letting Charlie know that he’s been lacking that sort of stability in his life? And that he admires Charlie's ability to stay so composed and stoic through all of it? Surely, that's not just a coincidence, right? Charlie's wide-eyed, stunned by that sudden admission. 

When he doesn’t say anything back to Alex, it’s he who presses again with a new question.

“Say, Charlie…” He begins, taking a moment to break his glance, and stare at the wall, where it’s dark, where his memories must lie. “You know how you said to me… that you’re nobody’s puppet?”

That hits Charlie like a thunderbolt. He _did_ say that. He didn’t think much of it at the time, just letting it roll off his tongue like velvet. “I did,” Charlie agrees. 

“How… how do you do it?” Alex asks, furrowing his brows. “I mean… I’ve never felt like I’m my own person. I’ve always felt like I’ve just been strung along with the crowd. Hanging with the popular kids and not being able to walk away… until it was too late,” Alex sniffles, his voice somber and melancholic. Charlie realizes with a slight jolt that Alex is referring to Hannah's situation. They've never talked much about it, but word travels like air at Liberty High, and while it's uncharted territory, even Charlie knows a little bit about Hannah's situation and Alex's involvement.

Charlie looks back at him with sympathetic eyes, daring to rest a hand on Alex’s shoulder for support. He watches closely, watches as Alex looks up at him, the familiar start of a smile breaking on his features as he raises a hand, certainly to hold onto Charlie’s own hand on his shoulder. And then he stops halfway. Alex lets his hand fall back down, just inches from meeting Charlie's own, and the smile disappears again.

“And then like – God, I’m such a hopeless romantic,” Alex says bitterly, shaking his head. “It’s like I’ve never had a proper relationship. Used by Jess, lied to by Winston,” he adds with a sigh. “So how do you do it, Charlie? I mean, it just feels like I have no control over my life sometimes."

And something about that admission causes Charlie’s defenses to crumble. He’s been so careful, shown so much restraint in what he says to Alex, in how he carries himself. He’s been afraid of losing Alex, even as just a friend, and now it feels like he’s so close, he’s almost there.

“I uh…” he begins, scratching his head. “Well – I guess what I meant by that was what I did,” he says, vague and brooding. “I mean… with the bloody tape and all,” he admits, peering into Alex's own incredulous eyes. "To save you. And help Tyler."

Alex’s eyes are resting on his, never leaving Charlie's, but he nods slowly.

This is the first time they’re discussing it out loud. It’s territory Charlie’s been afraid to venture to. It’s not somewhere he wants to go to. And yet somehow, right now, he’s feeling some unbridled fearlessness, something that’s spurring him on.

It’s probably just the weed.

“I said that I was nobody’s puppet…” he continues, slow and steady. “Because I wouldn’t be strung along with Monty and the rest of the jocks. I meant that I would do the right thing for myself. And of my own volition,” he finishes, confident. “Even if it means turning my back on those I thought I could call my friends." There's a bittersweetness to that admission - almost like shedding part of one's own identity. 

And slowly, Alex processes what he’s just said. The pieces fall in place. "Thank you," Alex finally says, his eyes twinkling a little. And although Charlie’s not sure why Alex’s expression softens, why his face illuminates just a little at that – he’s at least glad he can be of some use here, that his little monologue has inspired something new in Alex. That he's done something for the better here. 

“Do you really think it’s a wonderful life?” Alex’s voice suddenly cuts through, his eyes resting solemnly on Charlie’s once more. 

He doesn’t answer immediately. It’s this surreal tug of war, this battle of wills, as their eyes meet. His heart is speeding again, and finally, he musters the courage to respond.

“I do,” he says with a reassuring nod, his expression soft and sympathetic.

And then it’s like the whole world shifts under his feet. The air feels thick and heavy between them, so much so that it’s almost stifling. And although they were physically close to one another, it didn’t feel quite enough to Charlie. And then something about this causes Charlie’s inhibitions to vanish. Maybe it’s the weed. Maybe it’s how Alex responds, the way that warm smile breaks on his soft features when he hears Charlie say that, the way he peers into Charlie’s eyes that makes his chest tighten.

“Alex…?” Charlie says slowly, his face feeling hot. His heart is hammering in his chest, so much so that he’s almost certain Alex can hear it, his heavy, short breaths filling the otherwise silent room.

Alex doesn’t respond. He says nothing, but he returns the same longing, wanting gaze. Soft, blue pools holding Charlie’s own.

What’s leading Charlie on? What’s keeping him going? Instinct? Desire? Logic? And yet nothing seems to make sense. Nothing can rationalize why, or how. The space between them is rapidly shrinking. Wide-eyed, pupils dilated, they were so very close. He watches closely, intently as Alex moves in closer, his eyes flutter close right then and there, lips slightly parted and then…

“Yo bro, you gotta check this out!”

Diego’s voice booms from outside the room, and just like that, the spell wears off. Alex is back to where he was sitting before in a flash, wiping his palms against his jeans as Diego pushes the curtains aside and strolls into the darkness of the room.

_Diego…_

Charlie’s wincing at that, suddenly very irritated.

“St. George!” his teammate beams, saluting him. “There you are. Come on, you gotta check this out, the football guys are playing never-have-I-ever, and you gotta—” Diego’s expression changes suddenly, and for a split-second Charlie’s worried he’ll say something stupid.

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Diego asks _very loudly_. Charlie wants to strangle his teammate just about now. Of all the possible times to come in he chose the worst.

Charlie looks over at Alex, who’s wearing the most neutral, guarded expression, before looking back at Diego. “Oh no, we were just watching—”

“Captain!” Another voice calls, and Charlie watches with dread as Luke enters the room, an arm draped around his teammate’s shoulder. “Captain St. George!” he calls again, before looking over at Charlie. “Oh, St. George, there you are.”

_Oh great, and now it’s both of them_ , Charlie lets out a quiet groan.

“Hey, come on, the football guys are playing never-have-I-ever, and we need our captain—” Luke announces, wincing when Diego nudges him in the rubs. Charlie grimaces when his teammate presses his mouth against Luke’s ear like two middle-school girls with their hot gossip.

He’s dreading this more and more by the moment.

“Oh, is that so?” Luke says after a pause, his face wearing that stupid, mischievous looking grin. “In that case… we’ll just play without our little _incubus_ here,” he says teasingly, sticking out his tongue. And the blood drains from Charlie’s face when Alex shoots him an incredulous look. 

“Alex, I—” Charlie says with a start.

Alex raises a hand at him, and Charlie’s throat closes. “Look, I should probably check on Zach,” he says pointedly. “I gotta make sure he’s not overdrinking,” Alex adds. And the thing is, it doesn’t even seem like a lie. Alex had mentioned it casually earlier, how he’s also here to keep Zach in check. There's nothing insincere or ungenuine about what he said - perhaps it's a good thing rather than a bad one. 

Alex chuckled at the time, mentioning how it was like the roles had been reversed – with Alex now looking after Zach. Charlie remembers feeling a little jealous and heated at that – but clamped down on it. And now the same feeling is back. Actually, it’s probably even worse, because Diego and Luke are both grinning at him with that stupid, smug expression that makes Charlie sort of want to strangle them. 

“Alex—” he says again, but Alex has already left the couch, excusing himself and trying to get past the jocks.

“Charlie— Just… I’ll text you later, okay?” Alex says, turning around briefly. “I really gotta go. But it was nice.”

And Charlie doesn’t say anything back this time. He watches with a heavy heart as Alex disappears from his sight, closing the curtains behind him so that it’s just Charlie, Diego, and Luke in the rather dark room as the credits of that blasted Christmas movie _finally_ come to an end.

Charlie’s feeling miffed.

“Guys,” he begins raising a palm upwards. “What the hell?”

Diego and Luke trade pained glances, both holding their hands up defensively when Charlie shoots them a dirty glare. “Hey man, we didn’t know Standall was there,” they both say, almost in unison. It’s almost amusing, if it weren’t for the fact that they came in at the worst time possible.

“Well, he was there,” Charlie says back matter-of-factly. “And now he’s not,” he crosses his arms, his voice coming out more sourly than expected.

Luke quirks an eyebrow at him while Diego punches him in the arm. “Oh… well… was that our fault?” He asks, doing a very poor attempt to look innocent, causing Charlie to roll his eyes.

“Um, yeah,” he says back with a scowl. “Yeah, it kind of is.”

The jocks giggle at that, and Charlie just looks away, turning back to the screen which has cycled back to the startup screen. The movie’s previewing again on the screen, showing some sappy kiss scene. Charlie thought it was cute when it happened on screen, some one hour ago. Now it just feels like a slap in the face.

“So, uh…” Diego’s talking again, his voice unusually serious. “You and Standall. Are you guys like…”

Charlie’s attention snaps at that, and he finds himself looking at his teammates again. They both look concerned, but there’s no hostility in their eyes. Charlie’s thought long and hard about this. They teased him about it before, but there was never any hard evidence for them to work with. So it stayed as that – just banter between boys in the locker room.

But this is different. And somehow, he’s still not okay with this. Not after what just happened.

“No,” he finally lets out curtly. “We’re not.”

And he’s not lying when he says that. He just wishes it were a lie.

Neither teammate looks too convinced by that.

“Charlie—” Luke says with a start.

“Just— Can we leave it, please?” Charlie asks again, almost a plea. There’s no hostility left in his voice, no nothing. Just that – a plea. And finally, his teammates stop talking, and in fast forward a minute, it’s now just Charlie sitting alone in the dark room, illuminated only by the tv screen.

He grabs the remote control, hits the power button – and then all the light in the room disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading this!
> 
> Please consider leaving a review - I love those a lot.


	6. The Drill - S4E6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's TBI flares up during the school lockdown and Charlie's there for him.
> 
> Alex felt on top of the world after that kiss. But what happens afterward changes that in a heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's part 6. I apologize in advance that a bulk of it isn't much canon divergence/rewrite - there's not much I can do to play around with the fact that they did kiss.
> 
> But I did add quite some stuff afterwards! I apologize in advance for the ending... but canonically, Alex pushes Charlie away so suddenly after this scene. So I have my own take on it - and a whole story after this one to address it. Stay tuned! Enjoy the fluff... and then the angst... 
> 
> Stay tuned for Part 2 of this series.

_"Love when you're ready not when you're alone"_

\- **Unknown**

###  **April 4 th, 2019**

It’s not like Alex to question himself in terms of dating and love. With Jess, he always knew what he wanted – and he went for it. Of course, it only ended up with him being used and lied to, and finally dumped. Despite giving 110% of himself to her and doing everything in his power to be a good boyfriend, she just tossed him aside like he was nothing. He hasn’t quite forgiven her for that.

But then that blasted kiss with Zach awakened something deep within him. A part of him he’s tried hard to keep repressed ever since it reared its little, ugly head. His attraction to men. And _fuck_ , was it a tough awakening. The first boy who returned his affections that way was Winston. And while Alex was still in self-doubt over whether or not he truly liked men, whether he wanted to put a label on himself – he wasn’t questioning that he was drawn to Winston. It’s another story that Winston ended up breaking his heart with how badly he blindsided Alex – being able to alibi Monty, withholding his ulterior motives. He couldn’t help but feel that to some extent, that Winston used that against him – weaponized Alex’s attraction to men. And it felt like fucking shit.

After Jess and Winston, Alex has almost learned to associate the state of vulnerability he finds himself in dating with pain. And perhaps, that’s why he’s been so hesitant now. Despite normally knowing what he wants in a relationship – something that despite all his self-doubts and self-deprecating tendencies that holds true. At least, until now.

Until Charlie.

Until Charles fucking Hayden Brixton St. George.

The adorable, goofy, fun-loving dork of a quarterback. It’s been months since they first met, and they’ve grown close. Irreplaceably close; hanging out whenever they could, often with Tyler, but sometimes it’s just the two of them. And then they talk about everything. From the most mundane of things like the weather, to school, to what’s happening with Liberty Tigers, and the occasional questions about each other’s personal lives. They talk about _everything_ , besides the most painfully obvious thing.

At least, Alex thinks it’s obvious. He would be lying if he said he was blind to Charlie’s advances. He hasn’t realized it for long – but he’s felt it for a while. Whenever Tyler tried to bring it up – to strike up some conversation about what he’d been observing as a _very observant_ third party and mutual friend – Charlie’s plainly obvious attraction to him, Alex would always brush it off, or change the subject.

And yet he’s finding more and more that he _can’t_ pretend it’s not there anymore. Not after all _that_.

When Charlie found him that night during the camping trip, on the verge of tears and half-drunk, Alex wanted to tell him more – tell him _everything_. He wasn’t even sure if he liked Charlie that way at the time – he was so certain that he liked Winston, and that all of it had been shattered in one admission, one conversation. And Charlie was there to pick up the pieces. And maybe it was a moment of vulnerability for Alex. Charlie being the only person there. Maybe it was just that. It could have been anyone else. Clay, Jess, Ani, Zach, Tyler – you name it.

But it wasn’t. It was Charlie who was there for him. And somehow, somewhere, part of Alex was glad that it was Charlie and not anyone else. There’s something about him – his goofy smile, his well-spoken mannerisms, preppy fashion sense – something about him that Alex has been drawn to for the past few months.

And when he buried his face in Charlie’s sweater that night, letting his guard down, feeling the warmth cascade around him, felt the beat of his heart first slow as calmness took him, then speed when he realized how much he wanted this. It reminded him warmly of that night where he shared his kiss with Zach – only he feels it all the time now. Treading somewhere between feeling safe and sound, and feeling daring, and wanting more.

And finally there was that blasted find-your-drink party. Alex had gone out of his way to hide from the rest of the crowd, content originally with watching some sappy movie on his own, only looking out for Zach once in a while to ensure he wouldn’t overdrink. But then Charlie joined him. Handing out those weed cookies, donning that adorable smile as they talked about life, and it was the first time Alex saw a side of Charlie that wasn’t just confidence and strength. When Charlie was talking about his mother, Alex saw a side of vulnerability. And it’s not surprising – or unusual by any means, of course – just something he noticed.

Alex felt so at ease in that very moment, he himself opening up about the rest of his life, and how he feels like he’s still running from his ghosts, still facing his demons. And yet when he was sitting with Charlie like that, stoned, watching some old-school movie, Alex felt something he hasn’t felt in a long time. _Hope_. That things would get better, that somehow, somewhere, Alex had control over his own destiny, rather than just some mere puppet strung along and kicked around by fate. Maybe that’s what drew Alex to Charlie all along. The long-forgotten feelings of hope, happiness, positivity – things he felt were lost long ago amidst the chaos of Liberty High, between Hannah’s tapes, the trial, and Bryce’s death.

Alex wishes he could deny what happened at that party. It didn’t fully happen – Diego and Luke happened to interrupt them. And Alex was embarrassed by it. How could he not be? He’s not fully out yet – his relationship with Winston or whatever you want to call it was a secret fling – only his inner circle really knew about it. But if it were Charlie? The fucking quarterback of a varsity football team? He can’t just do that in public. He wanted to – he wanted _so badly_ then and there to kiss Charlie. But the timing was wrong. And so here they are again, seemingly back to how things were before.

Studying Spanish together, being awkward friends… and hiding together under the table during a hard lockdown.

That moment changed everything. Alex felt numb. Unable to move, unable to breathe. His anxiety was at an all-time high, each gunshot ringing in his ears. But Charlie was there, holding his hands tightly – something to anchor him to this world, to remind him that it wasn’t over yet. Alex couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. It was only the sensation of Charlie’s hands holding his that kept him going. And slowly, surely, the numbness in his fingers was replaced by warmth. And finally, when it became too much, when the stress threatened to burst, and Alex started hearing voices, the cries of his father, the ringing gunshots, Charlie was there yet again. He pleaded with Alex, reminding him that it was just his TBI – that no one was out there, that he was having a flare-up. Alex was rendered speechless by this.

Finally, the blaring of the alarm comes to a halt, and the lockdown is over. They’ve stayed silent for the past few minutes, Alex just holding onto Charlie to keep his calm. And finally, the ordeal is over.

They’ve survived another day.

Alex lets out a sigh, dusting his palms against his jeans as he and Charlie climb out of the rather cramped table. “Yeah, that happened to me before, last year early on, but…” Alex begins, biting his lip. It’s not a pleasant memory. He remembers hearing the cries and calls of Hannah, just weeks after coming back to school. Something he knows shouldn’t be possible, and yet… “It hadn’t happened in a while,” he finishes, shaking his head.

Charlie looks unmoved. Yet his eyes carry so much strength and sympathy. “That was the stress,” he says with a warm smile, and Alex’s chest tightens.

“Yeah but like,” Alex furrows his brows. “How did you know, like, what it was?” he inquires.

Alex quirks an eyebrow when Charlie looks dumbfounded by this question. “Uh… I um…” he says with a nervous laugh. “I googled TBIs a while back, just to, you know, uh… know what they entailed,” he admits sheepishly, looking at the floor. “Like, what you were going through.”

Alex is stunned by this. He’s been living with this brain injury for so long now, and it’s always felt like he’s been left to fend for himself when things get rough. Zach was there for PT, but like everything related to mental health, no one ever stopped to ask him how he was feeling, or what he was experiencing. It was always some dark topic, some taboo that people were afraid to venture into. And Alex hated it. He hated it so much. And now here’s Charlie, the boy he’s very much developed hard feelings for over the past few months, going out of his way just for him.

Alex has no answer to this.

“Oh, yeah…” he sucks in a breath, shaking his head. “Um you know, I’m a freak, so…” he says bitterly, raising a hand in emphasis. He’s trying to play it cool, passing it as some sort of joke. But the truth is, he believes it. He’s never seen himself as normal. As good enough. And today just proved that. Alex is donning a grin, but internally, it’s anything but happy.

Charlie looks astounded by this. “No,” he protests, shaking his head.

And the first thing Alex remembers is Charlie trying to tell him he’s a good person. That he wouldn’t judge Alex regardless of his past, his sexuality, or his TBI.

“No, no, no,” Charlie says again. His eyes are on Alex’s, blue depths holding his. Alex hardly has time to process what’s happening. He’s finding himself lost in Charlie’s gaze, and his face feels hot again, his heart rapidly thumping against his chest. He doesn’t know what to expect anymore. He doesn’t know what to think, what to ask for, what to wish for.

Because in the next moment, Charlie’s lips are on his, and Alex loses his composure. This is everything he’s been wishing for the past several months. This. It’s soft, it’s tender, it’s restrained. It’s much tamer compared to what he’s done with Winston – and yet somehow, it’s a million times more satisfying. His mind is short-circuiting, and for a moment he doesn’t know what to do. Charlie finally pulls away, and his face bears the markings of confusion and worry.

“That was… surprising,” Alex says, grinning a little. And yet truth be told, it wasn’t surprising to him. He’s wanted this for so long. It’s anything but.

Charlie looks worried by that. “Surprising good…?” He begins, furrowing his brows. “Or like… surprising bad?”

Alex just shakes his head. He’s got no answer to that. Nothing, but to return the kiss at full force, inhaling sharply when Charlie gasps a little at the suddenness of it all. And then it goes away again, Alex deepening the kiss with fiery passion and pulling Charlie closer to properly bask in the warmth and comfort that is Charlie. And in this moment, Alex felt perfection. Ease. A respite from everything that’s been going on in his messed-up, messy life.

For a brief flash, he saw a future for himself. It’s silly, he knows – but he can’t help it.

There are footsteps in the background.

“Well, you two recovered,” a voice calls, and Alex ends their kiss right there. He spins around, panting hard, his eyes finding Tony.

“Kind of,” he says quickly, trying to cover his tracks. Tony’s chuckling, and for a moment Alex feels incredibly self-conscious again.

“What?” Charlie asks.

Alex knows there’s nothing to worry about. Tony’s openly gay. He doesn’t _look_ it, or _act_ it by any means, but at this point everyone knows. He’s been dating Caleb for some time now, moved in with him too. If there’s anyone Alex is certain he’ll have the support of, it’s Tony.

“Well, I shoulda seen that comin’,” Tony chuckles, shaking his head.

It was obvious. Painfully obvious. Alex feels stupid at this. He’s keen on changing the topic.

“So, what did Foundry say?” he quirks an eyebrow, and just like that, the rolling anxiety threatens to return. Tony had basically turned in Tyler. Their friend. There’s no going back from there, and if Tyler goes down, so do all of them. So does Alex.

Tony hesitates a little, stealing a glance from outside the computer lab. Then when he speaks, there’s no waver in his voice. “He said he’ll look into it,” he grits his teeth. “And that he said he heard from the office that this was a fucking drill.”

_A drill._

Alex doesn’t know whether to be relieved at this or not.

“Okay,” Charlie begins, his expression unusually serious. Alex’s throat closes at the sudden tension of it all. “So if the cops bring him again…” his eyes meet Alex’s. “What is that gonna mean for us?”

_We all go down._

Alex shudders at that revelation. He never meant to betray Tyler’s trust like this. He knows he should have stopped Tony then and there. Protested that they know better – that Tyler’s their friend, and that he’s gotten better. But he couldn’t at the time. Fear had crushed him, and now maybe the price they pay is greater than that. Far greater. He turns one more time to look at Charlie, trading worried glances.

What was a romantic moment is now replaced by dread.

He thinks of reaching out, holding Charlie’s hand for a brief moment. And he almost does. He raises a hand slowly, eyes resting on Charlie’s own. But he stops halfway.

* * *

It’s almost midnight when Alex finds himself lying in bed. He’s trying to stay calm, to ride the high of sharing his first kiss with a boy he’d been crushing on for God knows how long. The star quarterback, the straight-A student, honor board member. Charlie.

There are the echoes of a faint sigh in his ears when he sees Tyler’s name pop on the notification tab accompanied by the buzz of his phone

Alex looks at it, grimaces, then swipes the notification bubble away. He can’t face Tyler right now. It feels awkward. Embarrassing – a sense of betrayal that he knows all too well. He should have stopped Tony from going to Foundry. And though Tyler emerged out alright from the washrooms, with Estela with him, they hadn’t spoken since. He’s afraid to know what could have happened with Tyler.

Shaking his head, he tosses his phone away, letting it bounce on the surface of his bed. He should be happy. Charlie kissed him. He kissed Charlie back. That’s something, right? He should be fucking happy that despite how messed up he is and all his shortcomings that there’s someone out there who cares for him and sees him as more than just this ‘skinny, sad kid’. Alex knows all this, and yet he can’t bring himself to actually follow through at all. His mind feels like a mess.

Trembling a little, he picks up his phone again, daring to press at the chat bubble he shares with Zach. He didn’t know where Zach was during the lockdown. Zach had a busted arm and leg, and while Alex knew he was a tough guy, he wouldn’t have been in any shape to fend for himself. Alex is relieved he’s alright.

But what he isn’t relieved by, is who Zach spoke with during the lockdown. Winston. The boy who broke Alex’s heart, who betrayed his trust, lied to him, approached him with ulterior motives. And now just how fucking close was Winston to solving the puzzle? How close was Winston to getting to the bottom of this, and how close was Alex to being put behind bars after everything he’s gone through?

**(2 hours ago)** Zach Dempsey: _I talked to Winston during the drill_

 **(1 hour ago)** Alex Standall: _U talked to Winston???_

 **(1 hour ago)** Alex Standall: _What did he say?_

 **(1 hour ago)** Alex Standall: _Zach this is bad_

 **(3 minutes ago)** Zach Dempsey: _I dunno. He’s close. he doesn’t know who yet_

His hands shake. He closes his eyes, and in his mind, he sees Bryce again. The life drained from him as the waters claim him. And when Alex looks down, he sees blood. Like a horror scene come to life. 

Trembling, he types out the message.

**(Just now)** Alex Standall: _We gotta talk._

He hits the power button, and the screen goes black. Sighing, and running a hand through his hair, Alex runs through all the possibilities that could occur. He knows that Winston could alibi Monty. He knew that – and broke up with Winston because of it. What he didn’t know was how close Winston was to solving all of this. And how hellbent he was.

He’s regretting breaking up with Winston now. And not for the right reasons. Not at all. It would violate everything he holds himself to if he were to use Winston for information… the way he feels that Winston used him. And yet he can’t shake this. He has never rested easy since that day. November 2nd, 2018.

He’s breathing hard, barely registering it when he hears a knock on the door.

“Buddy?” His dad calls from behind the wall. “You okay?”

Alex can’t face him right now. There are too many things going through his mind, and his dad is simply too perceptive for him to handle this.

“I’m okay,” he says back, trying his best to sound normal. “I’m just heading to bed.”

There’s a brief pause, and then his dad responds with an “okay, good night buddy,” and Alex waits to hear the sound of retreating footsteps before he dares look at his buzzing phone again. His heart sinks when he sees who texted him.

**(1 minute ago)** Charlie St. George: _Alex, you okay?_

 **(1 minute ago)** Charlie St. George: _Zach just told me_

 **(Just now)** Charlie St. George: _look_

 **(Just now)** Charlie St. George: _talk to me. I know well, that happened but_

 **(Just now)** Charlie St. George: _let’s talk about it_

 **(Just now)** Charlie St. George: _Meet me this weekend? My treat._

And that’s when Alex realized what he was walking into. He’s not innocent. He’s got blood on his hands. The secrets buried within the concrete, within the water that flows endlessly. He’s a ticking time bomb, a mess of a boy with a TBI, and a physical disability now because of it. And now he’s added the status of a murderer to that list.

It hurts to think about it.

But suddenly, it’s all clear. How could he date someone like Charlie? Someone so sweet, so wholesome, with such a bright future ahead of him. Just how.

Because Alex isn’t so sure if he has that anymore.

With a heavy heart, tears pricking at his eyes, he swipes away the chat bubble, Charlie’s name disappearing off of his screen with it.

***

He looks over at his phone. The messages stare back at him like ghosts on a screen. Unmoving, unflinching.

It's haunting.

**(6 hours ago)** Winston Williams: _I know you don’t want to hear from me_

 **(6 hours ago)** Winston Williams: _But can we talk?_

 **(6 hours ago)** Winston Williams: _You and Charlie, huh?_

* * *

** Part 2 of Stolen Moments and Missing Links Teaser  **

The smell of freshly ground and roasted coffee envelopes his senses. He’s seen this familiar scene before, one too many times. It was his and Jess’s turf, and then it became the entire Liberty crew’s turf so to speak. He’s finished every drink on the menu here – so it’s not like being here is strange at all. And yet today, he doesn’t have the appetite. Not even to sip at his half-finished latte.

He’s eyeing it, running a hand through his hair, absent-mindedly glancing at his phone. His chest feels tight when he looks at their message history.

**(1 day ago)** Tyler Down: _you knew Tony went to see Foundry?_

 **(1 day ago)** Tyler Down: _u and Charlie didn’t stop him?_

 **(1 day ago)** Alex Standall: _look, tyler I’m sorry I know I should have_

 **(1 day ago)** Alex Standall: _I’m really sorry Tyler I just… I panicked_

 **(1 day ago)** Tyler Down: _it’s fine I guess. I know. I heard_

 **(1 day ago)** Tyler Down: _nothing happened. I just explained to them they were for my own interest_

 **(1 day ago)** Alex Standall: _really sorry Tyler_

 **(16 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _it’s fine. Whatever. So I heard about the kiss_

 **(16 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _u and Charlie a thing now?_

 **(16 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _I couldve saw it coming_

 **(15 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _I don’t know_

 **(15 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _whatever_

 **(15 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _its not whatever alex_

 **(13 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _just leave it_

 **(13 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _winston talked to zach during the drill_

 **(13 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _hes close. this is bad_

 **(12 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _what???_

 **(10 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _he wants to meet me_

 **(10 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _I have to. I need to know how close he is_

 **(9 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _what? Alex, no_

 **(8 hours ago)** Alex Standall: _I already said yes_

 **(7 hours ago)** Tyler Down: _Be careful_

Truth be told, it's much easier to say that across text than actually follow through with it in person. Alex is dreading seeing Winston again. And not just because Winston broke his heart. That stings, it hurts like a bitch, but it's manageable. He can take that. But this? Winston trying to solve Bryce's murder to exonerate Monty? That puts more than Alex at risk. It risks implicating everyone he holds dear. It risks implicating Charlie, who risked his future for him with that bloody tape.

He can't allow that. Alex can't allow that.

Shaking his head, he switches the conversation bubble to Charlie. 

**(1 day ago)** Charlie St. George: _Meet me this weekend? My treat._

He hasn't replied to it yet. And now he's not quite sure if he has the heart to. It's just one of the many things that are on his mind right now, and frankly, it's too much to handle all at once. He can't take on another stressor like this. 

“I didn’t expect you to actually show up,” a voice suddenly calls from behind. And Alex closes his eyes. He knows that voice too well. He’s breathing hard, struggling to stay calm, to keep his nerves under control. And when he dares to open his eyes, _he’s_ taken a seat across from him, a coffee of his own in hand.

Winston Williams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger ending to a story? I apologize for this, but I always wondered what went down between the lockdown and library scene - why Alex suddenly was so against the idea of them together.
> 
> Well, here's my attempt at handling it! And it gets expanded much more in my next story!
> 
> This arc is over - Charlie's perspective here is nice, and he got his kiss. But what does Alex think? Why is Alex suddenly so hesitant to return Charlie's affections?
> 
> This is also my way of contextualizing Winston's final interactions with Alex. Why did Alex text him to meet up so suddenly?  
> Let's find out in Part 2 of this series!

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, if you enjoyed it please consider leaving Kudos and Reviews, I thrive on them!


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